Pfffwhat the fuck?
Time for an exorcism of emotion. I think at some point I'll go through this blog and reclaim random groups of words for lyrics, if I'm lucky. We'll see, we'll see, we'll see, right? I've been thinking a lot today, a lot about a lot of things.
Like.. Why I'm depressed. Sure, the past few days have sucked, and felt pretty shitty. But I don't know why I'm THIS depressed about it. Not that those things aren't worth this amount of depression or anything like that, just that.. I haven't felt this depressed in a while, and I was thinking there should be more to it than just the past couple of days.
And I finally realized that it's just shit catching up to me. Even the stupid crap from a year ago that sucked, I held back those feelings and let them mould a statue of discontent within me, and over the past couple of days that statue has cracked and crumbled into rubble. I'm even letting myself get upset over crap that happened up to three years ago, how stupid is that? I was sure I was over that shit.
But it seems I'm not, if I'm still upset over it I must not be. I'd like to be though, so I'm going to work on myself. I can't just sit back and let everyone else live their life while I let mine hold me back. I'm not about to toss around foolish words about "reinventing myself" etc like most people do, because I like who I am. I'm not stupid or fickle enough to throw away what makes me, me.
But I'm going to work through my personal pit of shit until it's all cleaned up and taken care of. I'm going to reduce the baggage my soul heaves about, until I can breathe freely.
I don't know what else to put in this blog.. But I hope things change soon, I hope I get what little luck I had a week ago back in hand sometime in the near future.
Because I was lucky a week ago. Very much so.
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